Courtesy my baby's arrival around the release date of Sanjay Leela Bhansali's over-hyped magnum opus, I could spare some time only recently to watch the film. So, here goes...
Goliyon Ki Raasleela Ram-Leela is one helluva feast that is overflowing with all kinds of spices, yet it tastes oh-so bland!
There's a riot of colours (Bhansali has shifted from blue to red). Sets are too grand for our imagination. Background score is equally enchanting. So is the drop dead gorgeous, super sensuous leading lady. And then we have a crazy, sexy lover boy. All this in a chase to tell an iconic love story. Tempting package, I must say.
But, but, but... while all that sounds like a heartwarming cinematic experience, unfortunately, the charm of this outstanding package that could have dropped our jaws in absolute awe, fails to strike a chord!
Why? Well, the wobbly screenplay and a dwarfed handling of it, the cheesy dialogues along with plentiful of corny antics are to be blamed. On top of it all, it is the chemistry between the so-called lovers that put me off the most. Sensuality turns into sexuality much before I could blink an eye!
Here are 5 spoilers that made Ram-Leela look like a desperate attempt to enter the 100 crore club. Surely, it won that status. But miserably fell short of scoring with my taste buds.
#5: THE SLOPPY STORY
Ram sees Leela. Leela sees Ram. Sparks fly. Without leaving any room for a meaningful conversation, the two indulge in a lip-lock. If that is not enough, Ram is seen in Leela's bedroom a couple of frames later. On her bed, to be precise. Love... errr... lust at first sight! Obvious twist - the two firebrands belong to warring families. Ultimately, their story - post a series of illogical, avoidable, loud drama - meets a tragic end.
Okay... so where's the story? I mean the one that makes sense and makes a splash! This one sounds like a typical, seen-before-ample-times formula, minus any X-factor.
The screenplay is a dead duck right from the beginning. There's no real-looking, interesting 'thing' between the lead pair that convinces the movie-buffs about their so-called love saga.
Leela accuses Ram of killing her brother with utmost hatred in one scene, and is kissing him passionately the very next moment! The film is a bag full of such blah-blah-blah moments. The change of heart in Leela's otherwise foxy, bloodthirsty mother towards the climax, is yet another turn off! Far from reality.
To cut the two-and-a-half hour long story short, this Sanjay Leela Bhansali product fails to click.
#4: LEELA HAS IT, YET SHE LACKS IT
SLB has gained a reputation in the industry for his opulent cinema. That he presents his heroines in a certain way is yet another USP of the ace filmmaker. His leading ladies are strong, yet win our hearts with their vulnerability; they are sexy, yet send their men into raptures with their sensuality.
Sadly, Leela is an exception. She is super hot alright. But we miss the grace and the subtlety. Her character looks so awkward in many sequences, especially when she is supposed to act all bindaas. Because it's not effortless. It lacks conviction.
Deepika may have hit the jackpot at the box-office in 2013, but she clearly takes the heat here. Leaving your comfort zone and strolling through a completely new territory, and finding a gold mine, is no child's play, Dippy dear.
#3: THE UNBEARABLE RAM
Ranveer Singh's Ram is nothing more than a piece of meat for the female viewers. He looks hot and oozes oodles of sex appeal. But it ends there.
It seems, he has taken his Band Baaja Baaraat appreciation way too seriously. Ram's character has no depth. There's no connect between him and the audience. He looks plain hollow - someone whose shenanigans have no good reason or logic to please or persuade the ticket-buyers.
I'm utterly disappointed that Ranveer gave such an insipid, flat act after casting a spell with Lootera. A big thumbs down!
#2: YAWN-WORTHY DIALOGUES
The film's dialogue-writer must have done a hell lot of hard work. Digging the scripts of the B-grade movies from the 90s, is not a cakewalk, after all! Add to that, the trashy texts exchanged between the two protagonists...arghhh!!! Who sends such unsavory lines to their sweethearts today? Absolute turn off!
#1: ALL SKIN, NO SOUL, NO SPIRIT
A cleavage-thrusting Leela would still have been passable, had she dived under the skin of her wild character and given an equally bold performance as her costumes and gestures. But no, the romantic drama is all glossy and no glory.
All Ram wants is to grab his girl and smooch her. Even Leela looks for opportunities to get dirty with her man. Such overdose gives us indigestion and all we want to do is puke.
Ram-Leela has surely raked in moolah. But has it raked in your positive reviews as well? Share your thoughts about the film in the Comments section below.
